Category: Christian Living

I Saw A Dead Man Today

It was a rainy midday when we came up on a wreck on the opposite side of the highway. It apparently just happened since no emergency crews were on the scene but a crowd was trying to help and the first police car was coming in right behind us. As we examined the scene I saw an image that will probably be burned onto my memory. A truck was on its side and the lifeless driver was pinned under the wreckage.
Not long before he was driving down this same road and probably thinking of plans for the day or the weekend. A routine drive on an average day like so many days before. Yet, he did not know he was living the final moments of his life. A rapid set of actions and reactions then a life was finished.
I immediately began to think of, and pray for, the family, friends, and co-workers whose lives would soon be dramatically interrupted with horrible news and some that would be altered permanently. Did children just lose their father? Did a wife just lose her husband? Were parents living who would be crushed by the news that their son’s life was cut short? What of the other people in the accident? Were there other fatalities or people who will wrestle with involvement in this unfortunate event? And then the final question: was he ready to meet God?
As I reflected on what I saw passing by this incredible life drama, I thought of several things:
  1. I love my wife, kids, family, and friends so much and cannot take time with them for granted for I do not know when it will be abruptly ended for me or them. I must tell and show my love today.
  2. I need to be ready to meet God at any time. Jesus may come on an average unremarkable day or I may depart on such a day long before I have gray hair and many years behind me.
  3. I need to help others to be ready to meet God. Their time may be shorter than either of us realize.
  4. Live and plan with an attitude of “if the Lord wills” (James 4:15). Life is but a vapor that arises and vanished rapidly.
  5. Driving needs one’s full attention. This was a clear reminder that the stakes can be very high (whether these drivers were inattentive or not). Buckle up, leave the phone alone, and focus on the road. My young friends especially, don’t be overconfident in your abilities. The phrase “overcome by events” describes consequences that you must face when the events are taken out of your control. Attention will allow you to minimize the opportunities for events to overtake you.
  6. I really appreciate the emergency crews who daily come upon these scenes to provide help to their fellow man.
When you wake up in the morning you do not know if you will go to bed that night. When you get into the car you do not know if you will be taken out of the car. Be careful and prayerful. Be faithful and ready to meet the Lord at any time.
UPDATE: The news has reported that it was actually a woman that passed away in this accident. Change the gender references if you wish but the sentiment is still the same. Tragic loss of a young life that should not only arouse our sympathy for the ones left behind but cause us to reflect on the frailty of our own life. -RFD

A Father’s Plea for Modesty

As a father of three fine young ladies and a handsome young man, I know the challenge of teaching modesty when the message from the media, friends, and sometimes other Christians encourages them to dress inappropriately. Modesty is not a “girl” issue since young men, as well as young women,  must be taught to dress in ways that do not provoke lust or send a wrong message. Girls lust too and guys need to be careful how they dress and act so that they glorify God in their bodies and not draw the wrong attention to themselves, 1 Corinthians 6:20.

Considering the biological fact that men are more visually stimulated, young ladies must pay special attention to how they dress so that the lack of clothing, revealing nature of clothing depending on the angle of sight, or tightness does not reveal what should be hidden. A woman who dresses in revealing clothing but blames lust on “dirty minds” is naive and, perhaps, arrogant. Often men have to force themselves not to look at what is being revealed because the woman did not exercise prudence in her choice of attire. Our eyes are drawn to look and through exercise of will we must look elsewhere. Don’t blame the fish for being caught when you put the bait on the hook. In discussion between young men and women in various situations, young men have begged young women to help them in this battle by dressing in ways that do not put them into difficult situations.

Among Christians the problem seems to be getting worse. I never thought that I would have to create the policy I now have for doing weddings for Christians: I will not do a wedding in which the bride or the bridesmaids are showing cleveage or wear high split dresses. Brides, if I may be blunt, your body belongs to you and your husband (1 Corinthians 7:4) and should not be shared with me, in whole or part–visually or otherwise, and especially not on your wedding day.

In an article that Michael Hyatt wrote on modesty, he outlined four guidelines that he shared with his daughters that made a lot of sense (though I would eliminate “probably”):

  1. If you have trouble getting into it or out of it, it is probably not modest.
  2. If you have to be careful when you sit down or bend over, it is probably not modest.
  3. If people look at any part of your body before looking at your face, it is probably not modest.
  4. If you can see your most private body parts or an outline of those parts under the fabric, it is probably not modest.

There is no reason for guys to be running around with their shirt off around girls or otherwise emphasizing their bodies either. We’re all in this together to dress in ways that do not promote lust and help each other get to heaven. If this makes you mad and you wonder why you should have to dress carefully in order to prevent others from lusting, please humbly and carefully read what Paul had to say in 1 Corinthians 10:23-33 (though it talks about meat offered to idols, he is explaining a principle that is relevant).

David Hartsell did a great presentation on modesty at the 2011 Alabama Winter Camp that you might want to consider as well.

Considerations Before Going to the Prom or Dancing

As school winds down in the Spring, young Christians in high school face a question unique to this period in life: “Should I go to the prom?” Non-Christian kids may be wondering if they can get a date or afford the costs of this expensive night. Some kids aren’t interested in anything associated with the prom. However, young Christians often face  several choices that their non-Christian friends do not have to deal with:

  • Is right to attend the prom or dance?
  • If I decide it is right, what is modest to wear?
  • What do I say to Christian friends who believe it is wrong for me to attend? How can I defend my decision?
  • What do I say to my friends if I am not going to attend? How can I use this as a teaching opportunity?
  • Why is it such a big deal?

The answer to the last question is easy. As Colossians 3:17 tells us, the authority of Jesus should guide our life. We are an example to others and must dress and act in ways that glorify God and do not lead others into sin. The reason that dances in general and the prom in particular become an issue is the activity that takes place at these events and often surrounds them and the clothes (or lack of) that are worn. A broader issue should also be considered: am I concerned more about enjoying worldly entertainment and approval than keeping myself unstained by the world (James 1:27)?

I have found two very good articles that any young person (and their parent) should read and consider before deciding to go to dances and the prom:

  • A Teenagers Answer to “Shall I Go To The Prom?” I went to college with Sherry. In school she was extremely outgoing, attractive, and talented. She was popular at college and I’m sure she was in high school. Her article describes the struggle with the question, her desire to go, the consequences of her decision, and her lessons learned. This was written when she was a teenager and reflects the emotional struggle and scriptural issues surrounding the question. After 25 years, the issue and emotions have not changed for it was also a time when dancing was popular and young people struggled with the question.
  • Is There Life Without A Prom? Steve Higginbotham has written an excellent article that addresses the spiritual concerns and he shares some of the consequences of young Christians in his area as well as the world’s view of the prom as described in teen magazines.
  • David Hartsell’s 2011 FC Alabama Winter Camp class on dancing and modesty (both issues are linked with these questions)
  • If you want to go true “old school,” some of the principles regarding dancing were addressed by Benjamin Franklin, a 19th century preacher (not the founding father), in a sermon on dancing. No surprise that many of the same questions were asked then as are considered today.

Though you didn’t ask, my decision was not to attend. I knew my mother and many godly people that I esteemed would not approve of a decision to attend. If I went it would most likely be with someone who did not embrace the standards of modesty that I did which would be embarrassing and tempting. In addition, I knew a lot of my friends were going to use the night as a pretense to let many inhibitions go (they were talking about it for weeks before the prom). I did not want to be associated with any of that and had no interest in attending. I didn’t wrestle with it, that I recall, since nothing associated with the prom interested me.

For our kids, my wife and I decided before we had them that it would not be a part of their lives. We don’t anguish over the decision because the “no” is our final answer. We approach it from the perspective of adults that have lived longer and seen more than they have seen. In addition, we have worked to provide wholesome alternatives for them such as a banquet at a nice location with a lot of their friends where they can dress modestly, have a nice dinner, take photographs, and have a memorable evening in a morally positive atmosphere. We are firm believers that if you say “no” you need to provide a good alternative that they can enjoy.

As with all of your decisions prayerfully ask yourself whether choosing an action will glorify God or hinder your ability to shine your light.

Innocence by Keith Stonehart

I woke up one day and I wasn’t as young as I used to be…My youth had gone to my children and years of poor choices and bad habits had taken their toll on my body… Looking into my own eyes I see what is left of what used to be young and beautiful. I had changed….but I am better for it.

We don’t realize what we have when we are young and it’s only in losing it – that we are ever able to dig down deep and truly find ourselves…When we lose our youth , we lose our looks…this is hard for most of us… but we also lose our arrogance , our ignorance and immaturity – and we are better for it.

My only regret is not coming to know God sooner…Only in knowing God can you ever really know yourself , and in breaking my own heart – I found him , although it wasn’t him who was lost… And I am better for it.

The trade offs have been well worth the trip so far , although the cost has been high at times.. Clearly getting “Better” comes with a price. But what I wouldn’t give for to have back my Innocence… …Have a great day people.. 😉

A guest post by Keith Stonehart from his blog Keith Stonehart is Dead

The Process of Letting Go by Keith Stonehart

I can vividly  remember being 9 years old and gripping the rope I was holding on to with force that would rival a Python gripping his latest soon to be meal…Nervousness  was all over me like a bad suit and he had brought his friends fear and fear with him (yes, I said fear twice-apparently there is strength in numbers)  , but –  I being the stubborn hard headed punk I have always been ,  was determined to beat this…

Then it came – that one moment where this whole journey had led me to…The moment when I was forced to choose… To LET GO…

Seconds later I was submerged in the cool flowing waters of the Flint River..I HAD DONE IT!.. I had swung from the rope swing attached to the tree growing from the high bank of the river.. I had beaten the seemingly unbeatable  , little did I realize that the unbeatable wasn’t the rope swing that dauntingly hung high above the Flint River –  It was FEAR.

Fear  , a true “4 letter word” If I have ever heard it.. While healthy fear is often referred to as “respect” and is the only way to  begin to learn about God (Proverbs 1:7) – this is too often the fear we don’t practice. We give ourselves over to fear of failure,rejection,pain and a laundry list of other hosts that feed on the energy we give it..And with THAT fear , we open the door to sin and welcome it into our lives like the sickness it is  – But , like every illness there is treatment -and in this case not JUST a treatment  but a CURE…

LETTING GO.

For many of us , our understanding of “Letting go” is associated with weakness and it is in fact –  quite the contrary. True strength comes from doing what we KNOW is right NO MATTER the consequence – This is the birth of COURAGE and beginning of the Process of Letting Go.. So allow me give this encouragement :

GIVE IN – Give in to the will of GOD by submission of your own will to HIS… Submission isn’t a power struggle but rather a mutual relationship of love ,humility and respect.. Understand the PRINCIPLE of submission and you’ll understand the PRACTICE of submission. – (1 Peter 1:14)

GIVE UP – Not as in failure , but but in Prayer.. Give the things that plague you to God. Psalm 118:5 says  “Out of my distress I called on the Lord;the Lord answered me and set me free” ..

MOVE FORWARD – Giving in to the Lord and Giving up your problems to him in prayer is absolutely the right and best way to BEGIN – but a beginning is ONLY  a BEGINNING if you move on..You MUST commit to moving away from where you came in to the fold ,lest you fall out.. For this read 2 Corinthians 5:17

Things are just things..and like everything around us -things decay and disintegrate..The harder you try to HOLD ON , the more they slip from your hands and take you with them on the path to destruction…Imagine for a second that you are at Heavens edge and God Almighty is standing there waving you to “come in” – only every time you make your attempt , you are blocked by a figure that you cant quite identify. The harder you try , the more its gets in your way..All the while God keeps bidding you to “Come in”..

Finally , you overcome your fear of what this figure will think of you, or what it might do to you ,or what it might say to others about you and you shove it to the floor and RUN TO THE LORD where he is patiently waiting for you to respond to his invitation..Just before getting to him you turn to look one last time at your menacing opponent only to realize that the ENTIRE time , the one in between you and the LORD – was YOURSELF..

What will keep you from God and his rest for you?..Nothing except YOURSELF and your FEAR…. So Let it GO – Let go of the rope that this life will ultimately hang you with and fall headlong into the cool  flowing waters of Christ… In him there is no fear ,only love.. No weakness,only strength.. No labor , only rest…

Linkin Park’s song “Iridescent” says it better than I’ve heard in quite a while..In the last line of the chorus that chant”Do you feel cold and lost in desperation? You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known..Remember all the sadness and frustration..

And let it go.

I, for one , couldn’t agree more… The invitation to study the Bible is still open.. 😉

Revelation 21:4 -“   He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Guest post by Keith Stonehart from his blog Keith Stonehart is Dead