Book Review: The 5 Simple Truths of Raising Kids

The author expounds simple truths that seem grounded with research and common sense but it mainly reinforced what I’ve read in other parenting books. If you want to see the latest research on young people’s behaviors and related parenting principles, it is a good resource.

The 5 Simple Truths of Raising Kids: 1The 5 Simple Truths of Raising Kids

by R. Bradley Snyder

As the parent of 4 kids (and having raised 2 others), I am an avid reader of parenting books as I seek tips and ideas for being a good father. This book has a lot of psychological reporting and survey information for those who value research-focused information over anecdotal advice. However, data must be interpreted properly to yield good advice. The basic concepts in the book: “kids are good” and “parents need to parent” is sound but not new.

The research data provides great insight into the habits of young people that often contrasts with sensationalized media stories and TV/movie dramas. There are probably more positive trends among young people than we realize; however, we must be diligent to direct children towards good decision making.

The author expounds simple truths that seem grounded with research and common sense but it mainly reinforced what I’ve read in other parenting books. If you want to see the latest research on young people’s behaviors and related parenting principles, it is a good resource.

Buy at Amazon (affiliate link)

Proverbs 27:21: Will Praise Destroy You?

A challenging task for one’s character is receiving praise. Some will deflect it because they have such low self-esteem and discount what is said. On the other extreme, some let it inflate their pride. Do we chase it? How do we handle it?

“The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and a man is tested by his praise.” Proverbs 27:21 (ESV)

“The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, And a man is valued by what others say of him.” Proverbs 27:21 (NKJV)

The two translations of this passage provide insight about the virtue and danger of praise. Other proverbs encourage humility and discourage boasting about oneself. As promoters, we are biased when marketing ourselves even cushioning acknowledgement of our flaws with reasons, excuses, and reminders of our virtue. The wisdom of the collection of proverbs on humility, pride, and praise encourage us to not seek praise and, if it is to be voiced, let it come from another.

The introductory couplet compares man’s praise to the refining process for silver and gold. This is  a common theme used for faith in 1 Peter 1, the word of God in Psalm 12, and numerous other places. The intensity of heat melts gold and sliver releasing impurities to be removed. Likewise, through the heat of moral and physical challenges, a person’s character is either strengthened or weaknesses exposed. A “trial by fire” purifies the one who allows for improvement and sheds what is weak and wicked.

Praise for enduring tests

As the NKJV observes,  a man who receives genuine praise, not flattery, from others is one who has distinguished himself by his character, character developed through trial. Most men and women who are considered praiseworthy have overcome obstacles, endured trials, demonstrated self-discipline, and have distinguished themselves through achievement and excellence. One does not have to accomplish something great, as the world counts greatness. A person may be praised as a good parent, coach, or friend for what they have accomplished despite the challenges of life.

The test of enduring praise

The ESV and NIV provide another view of this passage. How a person reacts to receiving praise is also a test. A common quote in the business world is

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”*

An equally challenging task for one’s character is receiving praise. Some will deflect it because they have such low self-esteem and discount what is said. On the other extreme, some let it inflate their pride. It is best to accept praise graciously, thanking the person for their kind words, and move on with life.

A person can become so addicted to praise that they start to make decisions and act in a way that encourages praise. They need it like air and food. They wrestle with self-doubt and insecurity when they do not receive it and can’t enjoy when they do receive it because its pleasure is fleeting. The futility of chasing followers, likes, and views on social media arises from this warped sense of one’s worth by the clicks of strangers and friends. Some will neglect those who do care and are with them physically by staring into their phone, skipping across social media sites, feeding the need to feel significant. I encourage you to read my article, Could You Live Without Internet Celebrity for more insight into this danger we face.

One of my internal reminders is that I’m not as bad as my critics say nor am I as good as my fans say (I don’t know where I borrowed this from, perhaps Abraham Lincoln or Einstein). I enjoy praise as much as anyone but I do not let that define me nor is it the way I evaluate myself. As a Christian, my value lies in the relationship with God, not how men judge me. I must be careful, as I have written in this article, not to do my Christian service for the praise and honor of others. Some compromise their principles so they will not receive criticism. Others let praise for their godliness rest on them instead of directing the glory to God. Let us have the attitude of Paul in Philippians 3:8, who said “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…” (ESV).

Can you handle the praise?

*Note: Most sources attribute this quote to Abraham Lincoln. I have not had a chance to verify this and am skeptical of attributing it since it appears most of the Internet quotes are attributed to Einstein or Abraham Lincoln.

Social Media Fame Will Not Ease Your Emotional Pain

A Bing search today provided an ironic set of results for celebrity Selena Gomez. She became the first person to reach 100 million Instagram followers AND checked herself into a rehab facility to deal with depression and emotional issues. One would think that someone who has so many fans would have no reason to suffer emotionally, yet this is not the case, as social media followers cannot provide the same emotional support to deal with serious problems in life. As a celebrity, Gomez probably realizes this and understands the difference between fans and friends. However, those of us who do not have fame may feel that if we could just have 1,000 social media followers then our voice could be heard and we would be important. Such is an illusion. There is far more value in a few people who truly love and support you than many times that in “followers.”

Gomez likely is suffering additional problems brought on because of celebrity. If we think fame will solve problems, it will probably only magnify our problems and may create new ones. Many business, sports, and entertainment stars have achieved their goals and received the riches and accolades they desired only to discover a nagging question: “Is this all there is?” The book of Ecclesiastes emphasizes the futility of the things in this life bringing our life meaning; however, we can be satisfied with work and achievement if we have it in perspective. There are famous people who do not care about fame who are able to handle its rise and fall with grace.

From my understanding, Selena Gomez has gone through some significant challenges that would impact anyone’s emotional state. It is wise that she is seeking help to deal with these issues and hopefully she will find strength and encouragement to get through this difficult time. It is good that she is turning to people and not drugs or alcohol. I understand the treatment is from a Christian perspective so I hope, and will pray, she can find God’s wisdom as a strength and guide.

Book Review: The Rocks Don’t Lie: A Geologist Investigates Noah’s Flood

A geologist’s book on flood geology but also includes insight into academic establishment resistance to non-flood geology theories. The author is respectful of Biblical views but displays a simplistic understanding of Biblical criticism. The book was very educational.

The Rocks Don't Lie: A Geologist Investigates Noah's FloodThe Rocks Don’t Lie: A Geologist Investigates Noah’s Flood

by David R. Montgomery

The book was very educational. I didn’t like the section on Biblical Criticism which comes off simplistic but as simplistic as some Biblical experts discuss geology. That is often my criticism of authors who try to expound on complexities outside of their area of expertise and miss the nuances and specialized knowledge in these areas. As noted, when non-scientists try to expound on the depths of biology, astronomy, and geology the chance of misinformation and inadequate handling of the evidence is increased.

The true geology portions are extremely interesting as is the discussion about scientific bias against other scientists who propose theories that contradict establishment thinking. Scientists collect data, evaluate the evidence, challenge hypothesis, and propose explanations but sometimes they also have to work within academic politics and structures that can inhibit the very exploration that should take place.

I think Montgomery handled the apparent conflicts between the Bible and the geological record in a way that respected religion and it’s contributions to geology. The book encourages Christians to consider geological evidence related to Bible events and presents observations that will resonate with old-earth creationists but be inconsistent with a young-earth creationist view of the world.

Buy from Amazon (affiliate link)

Book Review: Sex At First Sight

Richard Simmons III has revealed the must understood and least discussed part of the culture of unrestrained sexuality and the hookup culture: the sexual liberty so praised and promoted is purchased at the cost of dignity, health, and intimacy. Those who have indulged in the culture are fighting many more sexual diseases than before, feel used and guilty for using others, struggle to develop relationships, and are feeling lonelier than ever.

Sex At First SightSex At First Sight by Richard E. Simmons III

Richard Simmons III has revealed the must understood and least discussed part of the culture of unrestrained sexuality and the hookup culture: the sexual liberty so praised and promoted is purchased at the cost of dignity, health, and intimacy. Those who have indulged in the culture are fighting many more sexual diseases than before, feel used and guilty for using others, struggle to develop relationships, and are feeling lonelier than ever.

Though Simmons presents the message from a Christian worldview, he cites numerous scholars, former proponents of the open sexuality movement, and other non-Christian experts who admit the truth of God’s moral regulations of sexuality despite their reluctance to follow Him. There are cautionary tales from college campuses and the therapists couch. Even those who encouraged the so-called sexual revolution have come to see that it did not grant freedom but became a prison. Feminists are seeing that the sexual revolution, far from freeing women, has made them more objectified and considered only for what they can do do please another, not for who they are.

Yet Simmons also presents the hope of escaping this culture, returning the dignity and peace of a virtuous life. He urges us to consider how God did not make sex dirty, as the critics claimed, but God made sex. It was a gift for man that, like other gifts, man has made an idol to his detriment. The Bible praises the sexual relationship in marriage as honorable and to be a pleasurable “knowing” of one’s spouse in a special, secret, and sacred way. The Bible also reveals the destructive consequences of an individual and society of sexual relations outside of that context.

I HIGHLY recommend this book. I’ve worked with so many young people for decades and heard the stories echoed in this book and have seen the impact, decades later, of people who followed this lifestyle when younger, whether they were people of faith or not. Everything in life has consequences whether felt immediately or in the far future. Don’t dismiss this important fact.

I woke up late one Saturday morning and read the whole thing before lunch so it will not be a long read but it is so packed with good information from secular and religious writers, therapists, psychologists, and people living in and recovering from this unfortunate social experiment. If you work with young people, or have children, read this book.

If you are a high school, college student, or past that age and are struggling with the emptiness, confusion, and loneliness that this life has brought PLEASE read this book. He will not preach at you; he will enlighten you gently and lovingly and show you the lies and ignorance that created this environment that is pressuring you and show you a great way of escape to find forgiveness, fulfillment, and true intimacy in a real relationship.

Buy from Amazon (affiliate link)