Category: Christian Living

Why Don’t We Want What We Need?

Like a child who plays with the box instead of the precious gift inside, we don’t often realize what is most valuable and important. Like a person who loses money in a scam or spends a fortune for fool’s gold, we can miss a great treasure if we cannot tell the genuine from the fake.

A paralyzed man, brought with great effort by his friends to Jesus, was told “Your sins are forgiven.” (Matthew 9:1-8). The greatest problem this man had was not his paralysis, but his sinfulness. Jesus solved his greatest problem; however, an observer might have pitied him since he was not immediately healed. Jesus gave him the better thing first. If you were the paralyzed man would you have been satisfied leaving the presence of Jesus with your sins forgiven but your legs unhealed? Yet, he would have received the greatest gift even if he was forgiven but not healed! Thankfully for him, he was spiritually and physically healed.

We don’t always want the better things

The rich young ruler (Mark 10:17-25) came to Jesus asking about eternal life. When told that he would need to forsake his earthly possessions in order to possess it he was disappointed and turned from Jesus. He thought he wanted eternal life but in reality he wanted his earthly treasures. He forsook the better, eternal things for the temporary, earthly things. Now his possessions are gone and he is in eternity. He should have wanted what he needed: eternal life and a spirit without covetousness.

The multitude that followed Jesus as recorded in John 6 tasted the greatest spiritual food: the message of heaven from the Son of God. He spent much time teaching them and fed them miraculously, multiplying bread and fish in abundance. Jesus left them that night and crossed the Sea of Galilee. The multitude awoke to find him gone and loaded boats to chase Him across the sea. Jesus confronted their shallowness and rebuked them for seeking the physical bread instead of the spiritual bread. When Jesus tried to persuade them to seek the spiritual food they turned their back on Him. They were short sighted and missed an eternal feast because Jesus wouldn’t give them daily bread for their stomachs.

Sometimes we develop a preference for the physical things because they are seen. The spiritual cannot be seen and often we must wait for the greater things. Ultimately, we have a problem because we don’t want what we need.

Struggle between wants and needs

The woman at the Samarian well (John 4) also sought physical relief, desiring the water that would keep her from coming to the well every day. Jesus had eternal gifts but she was seeking physical answers. Jesus’ remark about her relationships may have indicated her attempts to fill her emptiness with relationships. However, seeing her real need and the ability of Jesus to fill that need, she desired what she truly needed: Jesus and the eternal water He offered. As one commentator noted, those who thirst for the physical water wake up thirsty every day and those who try to satisfy spiritual thirst with physical means wake up thirsty every day. Earthly pleasures, relationships, and other attempts to fill the spiritual hunger will not satisfy and the hunger will remain. Only the eternal can fill the emptiness.

Satisfying our deepest need

When many in the multitude turned from Jesus, He asked His apostles if they wanted to turn away. They knew that only Jesus had the food to nourish their deepest hunger and said, “To whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:66-68). Those are blessed and filled who hunger and thirst for righteousness, Matthew 5:6. We are rich when we store up heavenly treasures, Matthew 6:19-21.

He must not be just a part of our life but to be our life, Colossians 3:1-4. When He is our life, that hunger can be filled. We must want it more than the things of this world. We must want the words of eternal life, the righteousness that can fill us and satisfy our hunger, and the spiritual treasures on earth and in heaven. We must make sure that we truly want what we really need.

Blessings With Car Troubles

My son and I were traveling to college out of state recently. I drove the family van and he followed with his truck. We got to our halfway point at 3 am the night before and were up at 8 am the next day to finish the trip. After a quick stop when we had been on the road a couple of hours, I noticed my son pull onto the freeway shoulder. He called to say that the truck was overheating.
At that point I could have gotten very frustrated and agitated. After all, we still had many miles to go until we arrived at the college. We were far from home as well. This was an unnecessary and inconvenient interruption in my schedule. I was still tired from a long drive the day before and little sleep. Honestly, I would have often reacted negatively in such a situation but I’ve been working on improving my attitude and to have more gratitude for the things that are going right.
Here were the blessings I observed about the situation:
  1. My son was watching the temperature gauge and noticed the engine was hot. We didn’t find the problem by the engine overheating and becoming damaged. By monitoring the gauges he identified trouble before it became an expensive and time consuming problem.
  2. We were between two exits that were not far apart and both had several stores where I could purchase premixed antifreeze. We had come along stretches where the exits were many more miles apart and some did not have stores at the exits. This could have taken much longer if the problem developed in those areas.
  3. A short time later we were driving in extremely heavy rain which would have made fixing the problem more difficult and messy. It was still dry when the problem arose.
  4. The problem did not develop a 2 am when we were tired and trying to reach our destination the night before.
  5. We left in plenty of time so we weren’t in a rush to fix the problem in order to meet a tight deadline. My son had an event scheduled that night and he still was early even with this problem because we planned to leave early to accommodate potential problems.
  6. This didn’t happen after I left him at college. I was able to help him fix the problem.
  7. My son has a vehicle. That is a blessing.
I could probably list more blessings in this problem but I think these illustrate my point. We can look at the bad in any situation or we can see the good, at the very least, how it could have been worse but it was not. We cannot control a lot of the things that happen in our lives but we can control our attitude about the situations!
It is that type of attitude that James describes when he urges us to have joy in trials because of the fruits it produces (James 1:2-4). The problems you endure teach you lessons if you will listen. They can make you wiser in planning better in the future to meet or prevent problems. Dealing with problems gives you experience to help others when they face similar trials. Problems can help you depend on God more than yourself.
Going through trials gives you opportunities to develop a good attitude when facing trials. The reaction I had to this incident was truly a learned response because I have not always reacted in a positive way to obstacles in my life. However, I have learned that obstacles are going to come my way whether my attitude is negative or positive. Why not face it with trust in God’s care, looking for the best in the situation, and actively working to resolve the issue? When I face problems with a more positive attitude, I realized how blessed I am, even when I’m having car troubles.

You Are Loved At Home

The final thing that young people leaving home should remember, is that they have people at home who will always love them and rejoice when they return. You are blessed if that is your physical family but it may be that such a family is made up of friends and brethren.

When you are away from home be sure to maintain contact. Send emails, texts, letters, or other messages to let them know you love them and care about them. It may be tough as your schedule becomes busy but always make time to communicate with those you love.

When you get tired, sad, or confused they can be a source of strength and guidance. Sometimes home is just a great place to rest and reflect. When you return you will be different. You will be more independent and mature and so expect that sometimes there may be some conflict or discomfort but this is usually temporary and, if you communicate with those at home, you can work through any difficulties.

This blessed experience looks forward to a heavenly home where God will welcome His faithful children to live with Him forever. Live so that you enjoy the blessings of God on this earth and the joys of His eternal home.

Other Articles in this series:

Live Worthy of Your High Calling

As described in an earlier post, you must resist the call to live according to the foolishness of this world. You should live a pure and holy life, not only to avoid the negative consequences of foolish living but also to honor God who called you out of this world to be His child.

Walking After The Flesh Will Destroy You

Proverbs 5:7-14 warns against living an immoral life and suffering the consequences of giving your honor to others, losing your wealth to wickedness, and having a tired sorrowful mind and body worn out by poor choices and disease. I have known people who looked older than their age because of the stress that immoral living puts on the body. Some suffer diseases for the rest of their life because of poor choices. I knew a man that said he lost several businesses and fortunes due to “drinking, drugs, and partying.” He told me with tired, sad eyes to “keep living like you are living” and “don’t make the mistakes I made.”

Iniquity ensnares us and binds us to our foolish desires, Proverbs 5:20-23:

Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD,
and he ponders all his paths.
The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
He dies for lack of discipline,
and because of his great folly he is led astray. (ESV)

As Galatians 6:7-9 teaches, we will reap a harvest of the life that we have sown. We must not deceive ourselves to think that we can escape the consequences of our actions. Likewise, if we sow good things we can live a good life.

Live Worthy Of Jesus’ Sacrifice
In Ephesians 4:1-3 Paul urges Christians to live worthy of the high calling of Jesus. As Jesus was holy and died to save us, so our life should reflect an appreciation of such a great sacrifice and a desire to live like Him.

Paul also told the Colossians, in Colossians 1:9-14, that working worthy of the calling reflected a life abiding in God’s power, doing good works to serve God and others, and increasing in the knowledge of God. Since God called us from the foolishness of sin and the darkness of the world, our lives should reflect the wisdom of righteousness and the light of God.

A Description of the Worthy Life
Proverbs 4:20-27  provides a great summary of the worthy life a young person should live:

My son, be attentive to my words;
incline your ear to my sayings.
Let them not escape from your sight;
keep them within your heart.
For they are life to those who find them,
and healing to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.
Put away from you crooked speech,
and put devious talk far from you.
Let your eyes look directly forward,
and your gaze be straight before you.
Ponder the path of your feet;
then all your ways will be sure.
Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
turn your foot away from evil.
(Proverbs 4:20-27 ESV)

Other Articles in this series:

Don’t Leave The Lord When You Leave Home

Father and son unpacking car for college

When a young person moves away from home for college, work, or to join the military it is often the first time a young person takes complete responsibility for attending worship service and serving God publicly. In truth, a person always has responsibility for their spiritual life but at home the parents or guardians exercise more control and direction than will be the case away from home.

Be Faithful in Worship to God

The Christian should always give God the honor and worship that He deserves. One way a Christian does this is by assembling faithfully with a church and sharing in the work of the local group. This responsibility is described in Hebrews 10:23-25:

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (ESV)

Worshiping faithfully recognizes God’s goodness and need to encourage others. When moving away from home, each person takes personal responsibility and self-direction for attending worship.

  • When you move out from home you will not have parents coming in to wake you up in the morning and taking you to services.
  • You will be responsible for making sure that you plan to go in the first place and get up in plenty of time to eat, dress, and arrive before time to start.
  • You will be responsible for getting your Bible lessons and making sure that you are there for each service.
  • You will be responsible for not staying up so late on Saturday night that you sleep in on Sunday or are asleep in the assembly.
  • If there is a congregational meeting, you are part of the congregation and should attend.
  • Young men: if there is a men’s meeting, you are expected to attend and have a voice in what is done or, at least, to listen and learn.
  • You are expected to be there for the nights of the gospel meeting and the work that the church does throughout the year.
  • You need to find a place to worship and let them know that they can depend on you to be a part of that church and its work.

Make A Difference Where You Worship

When you are a part of the local work you can help build up the group. In 1 Timothy 4:12-16, Paul urged Timothy to:

  • Be a good example in your speech and conduct
  • Give attention to building up your Biblical knowledge
  • Use your gifts and abilities for the building up of the local church
  • Immerse yourself in the life of Christ and let it shine through you
  • Guard yourself so that you are not drawn away to ungodliness

When I went to college in another state and attended a local church, it hit me one day that the people at church didn’t know my mom or sisters. Everything they knew of me was by my own responsibility and participation. Always remember, you are not there as your parent’s child or of a group called “college students” or “young people’s group;” you are a Christian and you should take responsibility to do what you can do to help the growth of the church.

Faithfully Attend Worship Services

Do not allow yourself to begin missing services. Sometimes people do this when working late or studying late into the night. Perhaps after a late night with friends you hit the snooze saying, “I’ll skip Bible class and go to worship service” eventually saying, “I’ll skip this morning and go to the assembly tonight.”

This is a bad habit that can lead you to drift from a close relationship with God and His people. Such behavior makes you weak and vulnerable. A sheep that wanders from the flock is vulnerable for being attacked and taken away by a predator. Similarly, the Christian who drifts away from his brethren can be easily drawn into the world and the jaws of Satan, the lion who seeks those he can devour (1 Peter 5:8-9)

Give Financially To Show Gratitude To God

Another important habit to continue as you start your life is to give financially as you prosper to show thankfulness to God. Proverbs 3:9-10 advises believers to “Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce.” We honor God when we give back to the work of His kingdom from the money we have earned. The amount you give may not be great as you work through college and begin your career, but give something from what you earn as thankfulness to God and sharing in the work that the local church does for the glory of God.

The proper attitude of giving, described in 2 Corinthians 9:6-12, requires that we give cheerfully of what we have received recognizing that we are sharing in the good work of God.

When you move from home you have a great opportunity to grown in your faith and to take your place, independent from your parents, as a faithful active member of the church.

Other Articles in this series: