Loving As Christ Loved

The love of Christ that Christians should have is well described in Colossians 3:12-17. “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved” Therefore connects the previous verses: you have put on the new man and put off the old man, you were raised with Christ, and you are setting your mind on things above.  You are the chosen of God (elect) according to your response to His calling through the word of the gospel, 2 Thessalonians 2:13-14.  You are holy (sanctified) as God is holy, 1 Peter 1:15-16, and loved by the Father.

“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.”  The peace of God is to “umpire” our hearts and direct our lives.  When we have peace with God, it is easier to have peace with our brethren, especially those who require more longsuffering.  We are unified in one body when we all are ruled by the peace of God and seek the things which make for peace, Romans 14:19.

An example of seeking peace is in 1 Corinthians 6:1-11.  I should not take my brother who has wronged me to court, but rather accept the wrong rather than disgrace the name of the Savior and the church before the world.  Sometimes we have to “accept the wrong” to make for peace.  It is not wrong to confront a brother for an expense resulting from his negligence, but if he will not hear you, or the church, it is better to accept the wrong and let the great Judge, our God, administer justice.

Do I Have To Love Other Christians?

God commands us to love our brethren.  Loving my brother is not an option, nor is it a command that I can follow selectively.  Although we realize that some brethren’s personalities clash with ours, or they have habits or idiosyncrasies that bother us, we must work harder to overcome these minor things to be brethren.

Some have the attitude, “I have to love him but that doesn’t mean that I have to like him.”  Perhaps they wish to reconcile the command to love our brethren and the reality that some brethren can be obnoxious, overbearing, insensitive, and annoying.  How can we truly have love for our brethren if we do not make significant attempts to overcome the natural reaction to avoid these people?  Will we show true hospitality, help, love, and concern for someone we love but whom we make conscious efforts to avoid?  A better approach is to look past character traits to the soul within.  Perhaps the gentle rebuke made in sincere love could chisel away some undesirable characteristics to make the brother lovable to others.  Certainly, there are people who grate on our nerves but we probably grate on the nerves of others as well.

Paul addresses the need to make a special effort to love the unlovable in Colossians 3:13: “bear with one another.”  The word “bear” here is used elsewhere of God suffering or bearing with us (Matthew 17:17, Mark 9:19).  In 2 Corinthians 11:1,19, the same word is used in a sense that we might translate as put up with.  There is a great need for us to suffer with, forbear, put up with, and bear with one another.  We come from different backgrounds, geographical areas, financial situations, educational levels, etc.  We are a dissimilar people unified into one body under one head.  It is essential that we bear with one another and not willfully withhold our full love for some brethren because we do not “like” them.  “What do you do more than others?  Even the tax collectors love those who love them,” Matthew 5:46 (paraphrased)

Encouraging Words

The Christian’s language must be godly and reflect a heart consecrated for God.  Paul commanded the Ephesians to let no corrupt communication proceed from their mouths but rather words of edification and grace, Ephesians 4:29.  He wrote the Colossians to walk wisely around worldly people and to speak gracefully and thoughtfully, Colossians 4:6.  He told Titus to encourage the young men to have sound speech that could not be condemned, Titus 2:8.

Our words must encourage and edify all men, especially our brethren.  Our speech must be graceful, or beautiful.  We must speak words of kindness.  When we must speak tough words, such as words of rebuke, we must still speak with grace and love, Ephesians 4:15.

Our words can comfort the downhearted, 1 Thessalonians 5:14. Too many brethren suffer without a word of exhortation from loving brethren. We pray for these individuals but we should also call or send a card to show our concern. Since we have been comforted by God, we should comfort others, 2 Corinthians 1:4. 

Christians must always be ready always to give a defense of our faith, with a meek and fearful spirit, 1 Peter 3:15.  Proverbs 15:28: “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.”  Christians must study the word to prepare a scriptural defense of his belief.  A foolish person, on the other hand, will answer “my church believes…,” or “my preacher says…,” or “I think…” We cannot answer the world in its folly.  We must know why we believe what we believe and be able to defend it with scripture.  When we do this, we will take our tongue, that unruly evil, and use it for good.

Fighting Words

We must watch our language when we are angry.  James wrote, “the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”  Many people have damaged or destroyed their reputation because they would restrain their tempers.  Anger acts like an intoxicant that can cause one to lose control and do or say things he typically would not.  Christians must have their tempers under our control, to “be angry and sin not.”  Paul condemned the following types of wrathful language in Colossians 3:8:

  • Anger:  An excitement of the mind and violent passion.  W.E. Vine* suggests that this is a settled or abiding condition of the mind that frequently has a view towards revenge.
  • Wrath:  The outburst resulting from anger inside.
  • Malice:  “A disposition or intent to injure others for gratification of anger” (David Lipscomb).
  • Blasphemy (KJV – railing):  Scornful and derisive language directed at man or God.  “To blame with bitterness” (Lipscomb).
  • Add to this list gossiping and backbiting that is condemned in 2 Corinthians 12:20.  Gossip pushes another person down in order to lift up the speaker.

No one speaks wrathful language in love and it does not edify the hearer.  It tears at a person, as a wild animal would devour his helpless prey.  When we talk with our spouses, parents, children, and friends, we must be especially careful not to allow our familiarity to be a license for such shameful speech.  Consider Proverbs 15:1-2:  “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.”  The prudent man controls his anger, Proverbs 12:16.

*Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words

Filthy Language

Christians must put away sinful speech that characterizes the world.  A distinguishing characteristic that may identify us as Christians is pure speech.  The Bible condemns bad language that is not fitting for saints in Ephesians 5:4.

  • Filthiness:  Can be described as obscenity. Opposite of  purity.  Something shameful and dirty.
  • Foolish talking:  Silly talking. Vine’s defines it as dull, foolish and stupid talking.  Trench describes it as the “talk of fools.”  McKnight describes it as language in which one’s neighbor is rendered ridiculous and contemptible, buffoonery.
  • Filthy language (KVJ -coarse jesting):  Obscene or dirty jokes and filthy innuendo.  It is language that is twisted to mean filthy things.

Paul wrote that filthy language is not proper for Christians.  Some make the life of Christ appear foolish by their humor and their speech.  Imagine one who uses filthy language most days then invites someone to a gospel meeting or condemns some false practice using the scriptures.  Filthy language so pollutes the reputation of a person so that even his good speech is tainted.

Peter provides us a clear example of the worldly example of filthy language.  During Jesus’ trial, Peter was in a courtyard with the crowd that arrested Jesus.  Several people recognized Peter and knew that he had been with Jesus.  Peter denied the charge vehemently. After further accusations, he began to curse and swear to prove that he had not been with Jesus, Matthew 26:73-74.  If we curse and swear, what does it say about our relationship to Jesus?