Why Attend A Funeral?

As a young person, attending a funeral is probably at the bottom of your “things I want to do” list. You might feel awkward, uncomfortable, or even nervous about seeing a deceased (dead) person.

However, we all must face death eventually. As you mature, you will start to see the deep value of attending these services.

Let’s explore why funerals are important, how to handle your anxiety, and what to expect.

Why Should You Attend?

The most important thing to realize is that funerals are for the living, not just the deceased.

A funeral service helps family and friends say their final goodbyes. It is also a time for friends of the bereaved (those who are grieving a loss) to show support.

By simply showing up, you prove to the grieving family that their loved one’s life mattered.

From a spiritual standpoint, funerals help refocus our attention on what truly matters. As the Bible says:

“It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.” (Ecclesiastes 7:2)

It is fun to gather for parties and celebrations. However, a heart that never pauses to think about the serious side of life will become shallow.

Attending a funeral helps us contemplate our own mortality and evaluate if we are ready to meet God (see Romans 2:6-11). Hearing the story of a faithful life also inspires us to live better ourselves.

What Should You Do and How Should You Act?

Many people feel apprehensive (anxious) about viewing a body. You are never required to look at the body if it makes you uncomfortable.

If you want to pay your respects but feel nervous, walk up to the casket with a friend or family member. You can stay for just a brief moment. Remember, death is a natural part of the human experience.

You might worry that you won’t know what to say. A simple hug, handshake, or “I am so sorry for your loss” is more than enough. Your presence alone shows that you care.

There are no magic words to take away their grief, so avoid empty cliches like:

• “It was just God’s will.”
• “They are in a better place.”
• “It is for the best.”

Instead, share a specific memory if you have one. If the person was kind to you or gave you good advice, tell their family. Grieving families love hearing how their loved one made a difference.

General Funeral Etiquette

• Silence your phone. Keep it put away and do not text during the service.
• Be respectful. Avoid joking, whispering, or laughing with friends.
• Listen and reflect. Pay attention to the service and use the time to think about your own path in life.

If you cannot attend the actual funeral, you can still show support. Many families host a viewing (a visitation time) the night before. This is a great opportunity to visit briefly, offer condolences, and show sympathy.

Also, it is perfectly acceptable to attend only the funeral service and skip the graveside burial if you need to leave.

Showing love and compassion to those who are grieving is a beautiful way to serve others.