What Young People Want Their Parents to Know About Social Media

More than ever, older generations have embraced social media to connect with family, chat with friends, and find old acquaintances (people they know casually).

Because parents, grandparents, and children now share the same online spaces, potential conflicts and relationship challenges can easily arise.

To help bridge the gap, I asked a group of young people what guidelines they wish their parents and grandparents would follow online. Here is what they had to say:

• Don’t friend your child’s friends: Most teens felt it is fine if their friend sends the request first. However, young people feel awkward and pressured when refusing a friend request from an adult.
• Don’t complain about your child’s school online: Keep complaints about teachers or school officials off the internet. Children have to live with the consequences of your online rants or complaints.
• Don’t discuss discipline issues in public forums: Social media is not the place to vent about frustration with your kids. Never reprimand (scold or correct) your child publicly. This includes asking for advice on specific, embarrassing behavior problems in public groups.
• Limit the bragging: Sharing achievements is nice, but too much bragging makes kids feel embarrassed and self-conscious.
• Don’t post embarrassing pictures or videos: Avoid posting humiliating moments—like kids waking up from anesthesia or making silly mistakes—without asking their permission. Ask yourself if posting a picture is worth the damage to your child’s trust.
• Do not post personal childhood details: Skip the posts about potty training or other private childhood moments.
• Don’t assume they can take a joke: Teen sensitivity and feelings can change very quickly. What seems funny to you might feel hurtful to them.
• Avoid over-commenting: Do not comment on every single post or picture your child shares. Gently ask over-eager grandparents and other relatives to step back as well.
• Don’t tag your child in everything: Let them have control over their own digital profile and timeline.
• Stay out of kid drama: Let them handle peer conflicts on their own. If they need your help or advice, they will ask you for it.
• Don’t panic over dramatic posts: If your teen posts something that seems intense, it is very likely a song lyric or a movie quote. Talk to them privately before jumping to conclusions.

Download the Guide

You can download a helpful PDF handout of these guidelines below:

Parents Social Media Guide