School Bullying 1: The Tragic Costs

School bullying comes in many different forms, and none of them are easy to go through. Some bullies are violent and unstable. Others are insecure and mean. Many bullies were actually victims themselves, lashing out at others because of their own pain. Some kids even bully others just to fit in with the “cool” crowd and avoid becoming targets themselves. While there are many reasons why people bully, there is never a good excuse for it.

Bullying is Wrong

Bullying is wrong because it goes completely against the example of Jesus. He commanded us to love others, even our enemies. The apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 2:3:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

As Christians, we are called to serve others and reflect Christ’s light. A bully brings darkness into someone’s world, not light. Sadly, some young people have even taken their own lives because they felt they could not escape the pain of being bullied. It is a tragic reality that actions and words can push someone to such a desperate point.

Don’t Be a Bully

If you pick on others because they are younger, smaller, or different, please stop. Stop today. Even if you get a few laughs from your friends, picking on others does not make you look bigger or better. Deep down, you know it doesn’t actually make you feel good. In fact, bullying causes you to lose the respect of those around you, even if they don’t say it to your face. Also, remember that the cycle of bullying often goes around. Bullies frequently end up being targeted by even bigger bullies who want to prove they are in charge.

Don’t Be Bullied

If you are being bullied, do not stay silent—speak up. Years ago, schools did not always take bullying seriously. Today, the world is different, and school officials are trained to address it immediately. Tell your parents, teachers, or principal exactly what is happening and how it is affecting you. School administrators will step in, contact the bully’s parents, and demand that the behavior stop. If the bully tries to intimidate you for speaking up, report them again. Eventually, they will realize they cannot get away with it.

When Jesus told us to “turn the other cheek,” He was not saying we should allow ourselves to be abused. We should not seek revenge or act out of anger, but we absolutely have the right to ask for help to make the bullying stop. If the first adult you tell does not help, keep asking other trusted adults until someone does.

Protect Others

If you see someone else being bullied, never join in or ignore it. You can help stop it. If you feel safe doing so without starting a fight, tell the bully to stop and leave the victim alone. Often, just one person standing up for a victim is enough to make a bully back down—especially if others join in and tell them to quit. If speaking up feels unsafe or if the bully refuses to stop, immediately get an adult to intervene. Do not try to solve the problem by starting a physical fight. I had to deal with bullies when I was in school, and I was always incredibly grateful when someone stood up for me.

The Tragic Costs

As mentioned earlier, some young people reach a point where they feel suicide is the only escape. If you are feeling this way, please know that your life is incredibly valuable and you are not alone. Get help from a trusted adult, a counselor, or a helpline right away. Remember, school is only a temporary season of life. Most of the kids you go to school with now will not be in your life after you graduate. They will have no control over your future. You have every right to feel safe and to demand that the bullying stop. While bullying causes deep, unnecessary pain, you can get through this and emerge stronger on the other side.

In the next few articles, we will explore:

• Cyber-bullying and how it differs from in-person bullying
• The two main types of bullies: the violent bully and the jerk