Regret 2: Missed Much by Working Too Much

Several years ago, Bronnie Ware, a former palliative care (care focused on comforting seriously ill or dying patients) nurse, wrote a widely read article. She based it on her conversations with patients in their final weeks of life. They shared their deepest regrets with her. The top five regrets were posted in an article on her site, which she later turned into a book.

Recently, the website addicted2success published a list of 10 Regrets In Life By Those About To Die. This week, we will discuss five of these regrets.

The second major regret was: “I wish I didn’t work so hard.”

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. (Ware)

Poorly Focused Career Life

Some people choose to work hard at unsatisfying jobs just to pay for an expensive lifestyle. They sacrifice the joy of a meaningful career to afford a luxury car, a second home, or other symbols of wealth. If someone wants to make that sacrifice, they are free to do so.

However, many older people, especially men, wish they had pursued a career they truly enjoyed. Work should not be the center of our lives, but a tool to help us reach more important goals.

Since the average person works at least forty hours a week, it is wise to pursue a career you enjoy with people you respect. Serving God should be the true center of our lives. Our daily work should support that higher calling.

In Ecclesiastes 2:10 and 18-26, the writer speaks with sorrow about working hard only to leave everything to someone who might not care for it. This kind of work was done under a hot sun, filled with stress and sleepless nights.

Instead, the Bible encourages us to enjoy the work we do, appreciate life’s simple pleasures, and build a relationship with God. Working hard just to stack up money we cannot enjoy is empty and meaningless.

Non-Career Work Priorities

We can also overcomplicate our lives outside of our jobs. We sometimes get so busy with charities, social clubs, and community groups that we run out of time for ourselves and our families.

Many great organizations will take all the time you are willing to give. While volunteering is a wonderful way to help others and make the world a better place, you must set healthy boundaries.

Saying “No” to the Good for the “Best”

To protect your time for yourself and your family, you must learn to make hard choices. You have to learn to say “no” to good opportunities so you can say “yes” to the best ones.

Others may not always understand your boundaries, but they do not have to. They are responsible for their own choices, and you are responsible for yours. You must feel free to give what you can and say “no” to demands that cross your limits.

For example, my wife and I were active in our children’s school band boosters. I served as vice-president, and we both served as treasurers. When the club asked me to run for president, I knew the role required a huge time commitment.

I turned down the offer. Taking that job would have taken precious time away from my preaching, writing for this blog, volunteering at youth camps, and being with my family.

I faced pressure to accept, but I chose to prioritize my family and ministry. If I had accepted out of guilt or pride, I would have done a poor job, and the other areas of my life would have suffered. Instead, I chose to be a supportive member, and a different parent did a wonderful job as president.

Godly Direction

To live a truly satisfying life, consider the wisdom found in Ecclesiastes 9:7-10:

Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do. Let your garments be always white. Let not oil be lacking on your head. Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might, for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol [the grave], to which you are going. (ESV)

This scripture advises us to enjoy the simple blessings of life. We should enjoy the fruits of our honest labor and cherish the people we love.

The book of Ecclesiastes shows that seeking meaning in fame, wealth, or excessive pleasure always ends in disappointment. The real-life experiences of every generation prove this ancient wisdom.

Think about how often we hear of wealthy, famous celebrities who struggle with depression, addiction, or tragedy because wealth did not bring them peace. In contrast, many people living in poverty are genuinely happy because they value relationships over material goods. True happiness is found in relationships, not possessions.

Consider the words of 1 Timothy 6:6-10:

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. (ESV)

Other posts in this series:

• Regret 1: I Sacrificed My Dreams to Please Others
• Regret 3: I Wanted the Courage to Express My Feelings
• Regret 4: I Miss My Friends
• Regret 5: I Wish I Had Let Myself Be Happier