Do Not Awaken Love Until It Pleases

The most profound advice for romantic relationships is found several times in the Song of Solomon. The phrase “do not awaken love until it pleases” is used as an encouragement to others and a reminder to be patient in one’s own relationship.

But what does this phrase actually mean?

The Analogy of the Flower

Love can be compared to a lovely flower that blooms in its proper season.

• No amount of sunlight, water, or nutrients can force a flower to bloom before its time.
• Attempts to physically force a flower open from the bud will only damage or destroy it.

However, if you provide the proper environment, the flower will bloom beautifully on its own. True love, like a flower, cannot be rushed.

Common Mistakes in Relationships

Consider some common mistakes people make when failing to “awaken love until it pleases”:

1. Trying to force a romantic relationship

I have known people who liked someone and then relentlessly pursued them, trying to make them fall in love. They usually ended up repelling the other person instead.

Pursuing someone too aggressively makes them feel like prey, not a partner. Furthermore, a manipulative person might take advantage of your desperation, only to drop you when they are finished.

2. Changing yourself to please another

When you change who you are to appeal to someone, you are trying to force the flower open.

Ultimately, the relationship is destined for failure. You will eventually tire of playing a part and want to be yourself again. When you drop the act, the other person will feel deceived. They fell in love with a character you were playing, not the real you.

3. Settling for someone

Sometimes people decide to “fall in love” or marry simply because they have dated for a long time, or because they fear they are getting older and running out of options.

There is no natural law that states when you must fall in love. Do not marry out of habit or fear. If you are constantly fighting or lack deep affection after years of dating, break off the relationship so you are free to meet the right person.

4. Rushing physical expressions of love

True love develops through friendship, not the passionate scenes of Hollywood movies. Couples should not feel pressured to hold hands, kiss, or show other physical signs of affection early on.

It is healthy to hold off on physical expressions while your relationship develops. When physical intimacy is introduced too early, it can crowd out emotional and spiritual connection.

5. Sex before marriage

Some believe that giving away sexual intimacy during dating will win the heart of their partner. Statistically, it has the opposite effect.

A user will play on this tendency, only to leave when they get bored. God designed the sexual relationship for marriage to bind a couple together. The secret to its power is the lifelong commitment between husband and wife. Keeping this boundary allows love to blossom securely.

Conclusion

True love is more beautiful than any flower, but it must be allowed to grow and bloom in its own time.

“Do not awaken love until it pleases.”

Be patient. Enjoy building a strong friendship first, and care for your relationship like a precious, tender plant.