Considerations Before Going to the Prom or Dancing

As high school winds down in the spring, young Christians face a unique question: “Should I go to the prom?”

While many teenagers simply worry about finding a date or paying for the expensive night, Christian youth have other important choices to weigh. They must think about:

• Is it right to attend a prom or dance?
• If I decide it is okay to go, what is modest to wear?
• What do I say to Christian friends who believe it is wrong to attend? How can I defend my decision?
• What do I say to my friends if I decide not to go? How can I use this as an opportunity to share my faith?
• Why is this even such a big deal?

Guided by Jesus’ Authority

The answer to why this matters is simple: Jesus’ authority should guide every area of our lives.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus… — Colossians 3:17

We are called to be examples. This means we must dress and act in ways that honor God and do not tempt others to sin. Proms and dances often present issues because of:

1. The suggestive style of dancing that takes place.
2. The immodest clothing that is often worn.
3. The peer pressure and activities (like drinking or post-prom parties) that surround the night.

We must ask ourselves: Am I more concerned with fitting in and enjoying worldly entertainment, or keeping myself “unstained by the world”? (James 1:27)

Helpful Resources to Consider

Here are some excellent resources that young people and their parents should read before making a decision:

• A Teenager’s Answer to “Shall I Go To The Prom?” – Written by a college classmate of mine, Sherry, when she was a teenager. It describes the emotional and scriptural (biblical) struggles she went through, the choices she made, and the lessons she learned.
• Is There Life Without A Prom? – Steve Higginbotham writes about the spiritual dangers of prom and how modern culture views the event.
• David Hartsell’s Winter Camp Class – A lesson focusing on the biblical principles of modesty and dancing.
• Benjamin Franklin’s Sermon on Dancing – A 19th-century preacher (not the famous inventor) addresses these issues. It shows that these questions are not new; Christians have struggled with them for generations.

My Personal Decision

When I was in high school, I decided not to attend the prom. I knew my parents and the godly people I respected would not approve.

If I went, I likely would have gone with someone who did not share my standards of modesty, which would have been both tempting and uncomfortable. Furthermore, many of my peers were planning to use the night to let go of their moral boundaries. I did not want to be associated with that behavior, so the decision was simple for me.

Setting Alternatives for Our Children

My wife and I decided early on that our children would not attend proms. Because we made this choice ahead of time, we do not stress over it. We look at it from the perspective of parents who have lived longer and seen the consequences of these events.

However, we know that simply saying “no” is not enough. We believe that if you say “no” to worldly activities, you should provide a wholesome alternative.

For our kids, we helped organize formal banquets where they and their Christian friends could:

• Dress modestly and take nice photos.
• Enjoy a formal dinner at a beautiful location.
• Have a fun, memorable night in a safe, positive environment.

With every decision you make, prayerfully ask yourself: will this choice glorify God, or will it dim your Christian light?