Are Virtual Friends Inferior to Physical Friends?

Many people believe that a friendship formed in cyberspace is not as valuable as a friendship formed in “meatspace” (physical reality). However, devaluing an online friendship just because it happens through email, chat, or social media reflects an outdated mindset.

Why should a relationship with someone be more valuable just because they happen to live next door or work in the same building? While neighbors and coworkers can be nice, we often share nothing in common except physical co-location (living or working in the same place). On the other hand, many of us have online friends we have never met in person, yet we enjoy deep, meaningful connections with them.

What Makes a Connection Valuable?

Why is sitting on a porch gossiping considered inherently (by its very nature) more valuable than a text or email conversation with someone across the world about a topic you are both passionate about? The quality of the conversation matters far more than where it takes place.

How Personality Shapes Our Friendships

Our personalities also play a major role in how we connect. For example, as an introvert (someone who recharges by being alone and prefers quiet settings), I find it difficult to call friends out of the blue just to chat or share a joke.

However, I gladly check their social media pages and exchange emails. I communicate much better and connect on a deeper level through the written word than over the phone.

While some people prefer physical presence, others thrive in virtual spaces. Neither way of interacting is “right” or “wrong”—they are just different.

Maintaining Long-Distance Connections

Without social media platforms like LinkedIn and Facebook, many of us would lose touch with friends from high school, college, or former jobs. Maintaining these friendships online does not make them fake or “plastic.” We do not need to drive across the country or make weekly phone calls to keep a friendship genuine.

Sure, many of our online connections are just acquaintances. We might share common interests and enjoy good discussions, but we might not expect them to drop everything in a crisis.

However, we have these same levels of friendship in the physical world. In school or at work, we had casual friends, and nobody questioned the value of those relationships. The physical location and communication method do not change the reality of the bond.

A Simple Rule of Courtesy

There is one important rule to remember: When you are physically spending time with friends, be fully present.

Interrupting a face-to-face conversation to check emails or social media is simply rude.

• If you are at a birthday party, be at the party.
• If you are having dinner, focus on the people across the table.

If you must step away to help a friend in a crisis, do so. But remember that this is a matter of basic courtesy and respect—not a statement about the value of technology or online friendships.

What is your answer? Do you have strong, meaningful relationships with people you only know online?