5 Positive Signs in a Dating Relationship

In a previous article, I wrote about dating warning signs (red flags) to watch out for. These are behaviors that make long-term relationships and marriage difficult.

On the positive side, there are also clear signs (green flags) that the person you are dating is a good match. Here are five positive qualities to look for in a dating partner:

1. They are genuinely interested in you

Look for someone who values you for who you are, not what you have. They should care about you regardless of your status, wealth, or friend group. A person who wants to support and serve you reflects the selfless character of Christ.

Ask yourself:

• Do they really listen when you talk, or do they seem distracted by their phone or the TV?
• Do they ask about the things that matter most to you?

If they focus mostly on the physical side of the relationship, they are likely interested in self-satisfaction, not you.

2. They respect your boundaries

A person who respects your boundaries cares about your integrity and well-being. They will not pressure you physically or try to cross limits you have set.

They will also respect your time, responsibilities, and commitments. They won’t pressure you to break your promises to others just to spend time with them.

A selfish person ignores your boundaries, which does not reflect the mind of Christ:

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus…” — Philippians 2:3-5 (ESV)

3. They grow spiritually with you

Find someone whose dedication to God is independent of your own. You want a partner who seeks heaven because of their own faith, not just because they are dating you.

A strong relationship includes studying the Bible and praying together. You should encourage each other to serve and worship.

However, avoid becoming a spiritual crutch for each other. Your faith must be built directly on God, not on another person.

To grow together, you can:

• Attend Bible classes and church meetings together.
• Cook a meal together and deliver it to someone who is widowed or shut-in.
• Make Christian service a natural part of your time spent together.

4. They are responsible

There is great peace in knowing your partner keeps their word, even when it is hard. A person who is diligent and meets their obligations has the right foundation for family life.

Someone who is lazy or constantly makes excuses will likely carry those habits into marriage. Nagging will not change this behavior.

Look for consistency. A person who pays their bills, serves God actively, and takes care of their belongings will likely remain responsible. This is a crucial trait to seek in a future spouse.

5. They are secure when you are apart

A secure partner does not mind when you spend time with friends or family. In contrast, an insecure person often feels jealous or worried when you enjoy yourself without them.

This jealousy usually stems from a fear of abandonment or a need to be needed. A partner who constantly questions you like a detective does not trust you.

Watch out for these unhealthy patterns:

• Texting or calling constantly to check where you are and who you are with.
• Regularly asking “Do you miss me?” or demanding constant reassurance.

A healthy relationship requires the ability to spend time apart while remaining confident in your commitment to each other.

What other positive signs have you noticed in your relationship?